3 months ago, I had a short conversation with a billionaire. I asked for their book recommendations, but I got a lesson I’ll remember for the rest of my life. They told me that they don’t give advice or mentorship. That they’ve never received any value from it.

They shared the view that other people’s advice is often from their own unique experience and is often wrong or at least much less valuable when applied to your own circumstance. They said that instead of seeking advice they had “read a lot and studied and experimented and failed and learned and then finally succeeded.”

They implored that there is no “secret sauce” or “special sprinkle,” only what you create in yourself by observing, reading, thinking, noticing, learning, by experience and careful thought.” Before you have what you want in life, and especially when you’re young, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you need to have your prayers answered by someone older. Someone more experienced. Someone who can give certainty on your pathway.

But the truth is, if you have your mind, access to the internet, the ability to self-reflect, and the will to win, you can accomplish anything with time. Our desire for ‘prescriptions’ and ‘how-to’s’ applies to many areas in life. It manifests through a story we tell ourselves, “I need x to do y” and results in limiting beliefs:

• “I need to get promoted before I can leave my job and start a business successfully”
• “I need this person to be my mentor because they’ll solve all my problems'“
• “I need to know what this person did at this stage because that’ll help me determine what I should do”

But I’ve learned that this is a fools errand. You will never get the certainty you’re searching for, and searching for it will distract you from doing the thing that actually matters. Starting the business. Solving your own problems with the world’s information at your fingertips. Thinking from first principles on the best next step in your career. 

Thinking that you need X or Y to succeed is a belief constraint that gives you a convenient excuse for your lack of progress.  The truth is that there are no rules. There are innumerable ways that people have succeeded, and how you succeed will not be how someone else succeeded.

Do not be trapped by dogma. The message here is not “don’t seek mentors or advice.” The message is that you can succeed just as much without mentors, or on the back of your own will.  This applies to anything that you feel you ‘need to succeed.’

Don’t let a perceived lack of a critical ingredient rob you of the will to try anyway.